Apr. 19th, 2017

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We may revisit old emotional wounds today, but we're not bound by the past. In fact, our memories encourage us to face recurring issues and overcome them. We gain hope from the inspirational Sagittarius Moon because we believe anything is possible. We solidify our goals when the Moon shifts into ambitious Capricorn at 7:04 pm EDT. Meanwhile, a cooperative Venus-Mars sextile reminds us of the benefits we receive once we accept that love conquers all.

It's as if you wrote a screenplay for a romantic comedy and now the people in your life are acting out their parts according to your script. Needless to say, you're quite content when so many things go the way you envisioned them. Don't freak out if you hit a speed bump; just because others start improvising their lines doesn't mean the entire plot will be lost. It's counterproductive to enforce your expectations on anyone else. In general terms, the lighter your touch, the smoother everything will flow. Life would come with a remote if it was meant to be controlled.

Easter Sunday morning started off with a super Easter breakfast set by Jan, Roger, Tori, Aleisha, John, Jessica, and three dogs, Sasha, Bailey, and Cindy. Peter and I were considered guests although we are just as much as family, mostly because we were not able to help as much as get in the way of the faster and younger people. We had a plate with a pancake on it decorated to look like an Easter Bunny. We took a total of five hundred and twenty pictures in the space of four days that we took being in Toronto. What a great breakfast that was!

It was about 9:30 am when we finally left Jan’s home. We drove down to No Frills grocery and gas down at Carlaw and Gerrard. It took about 70 liters of gas to fill our tank from the trip to Toronto. About half an hour later we were at Jodi aka Chris 2624 apartment at 200 Wellesley Avenue. Jodi is very weak and weighs only 78 lbs. Jodi had a stroke that maimed his right arm except for a finger and his left arm is almost paralysed except for two fingers. He can’t walk because his legs are too weak. Jodi spends his time with a little TV, a radio, and little else.

Peter and I spent about an hour with Jodi. I sketched a quick sketch while Peter went out to get my pouch and camera. Then we talked a bit about a few things that seemed important to Jodi. One fact was that Montreal didn’t send paperwork about gender to Jodi’s doctor. Jodi wanted $70.00 for the cost of the paperwork that Peter thought that OHIP should have paid as part of the total cost of going to Montreal. There were a few other things that we talked about briefly.

My personal thoughts about Jodi and his condition are very depressing and sad. I am sorry to see someone I loved literally wasting away and dying slowly. I do have a lot of things to remind me that as much as we lived together, we decided to separate for very definite reasons. Two years later we tried to live together again. There again, were the same reasons that separated us in the first place. I felt so alone, lost, sad, and poor in every way I could think of. It was a a bad time for me.
Life goes on as it does whether we want it to or not. I survived three months of no food and only coffee with sugar. I lost weight and strength that took a long time to regain. Thankfully I got into trucking that paid me well enough. I was able to eat my fill and something else. I made a deal with a restaurant to have a supper meal every day and pay at the end of each week with cash. It worked out well enough and I was able to be happy again while living in the camper van.

I lived in that old camper van for six years before I actually moved into a house. I had become used to living in a small space and couldn’t go into large spaces without freaking out. It took me months to get used to sleeping in a dark basement room before I could move into the upstairs bedroom. Ha!
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Each time we get close to wrapping our minds around reality today, something happens to reactivate the earlier chaos and we lose control again. Although this recurring dance may grow frustrating, there's also humor in the situation if we can find it. The structured Capricorn Moon tempts us with the illusion of stability but her dynamic connections with auspicious Jupiter, transformational Pluto and explosive Uranus ensure unrelenting change.

Your home is like an active hotbed of unexpressed emotions. You don't want to miss anything that's happening now, but neither do you want to get involved in a situation that is like quicksand. You have the power to move in and out of conversations at will. Take your cues from others; they will let you know the best moment for your escape. Marketing guru Katherine Sullivan wrote, "Stop telling yourself you don't know what to do. Yes, you do. Listen to your intuition and trust yourself."

Today was a good day that started of early enough. I had managed to get to sleep at about 5:30 am and woke up again about 9:30 am. I seemed to have had enough sleep but it wasn’t long before I fell asleep at my desk again. I hate falling asleep at my desk at any time. There is always something I need and want to do at my desk, even if it is only writing.

Today was also the day that Peter had an appointment with Dr. Spees. It is only once every two weeks, but it is something that keeps Peter dealing with his chronic depression. I keep Peter from being depressed at all times. Of course, he is more prone to depression when I am not around, like in the hospital or something. My love for Peter is a tonic that fixes his attitudes, manners, and a whole bunch of things. I do love him and it makes a difference for the both of us.

Once again, Peter had a great session with the shrink. OHIP pays for the sessions so long as Peter needs them. So, the sessions that started off with the breakdowns under pressure as a manager for Bell Sigma Research Division did a lot of damage during the hard times that Peter went through.

Technically, Peter is chronically depressed for two reasons, one being the pressure of stress at work, and two, the slow progression of Alzheimer's disease of his wife, Freida. Freida slowly grew into a stranger even though she was still with Peter. Peter was devoted and loved his wife until she passed away with cancer undiagnosed because of her prescriptions. It was a surprise when she was diagnosed and passed away only two weeks later. Condolences, dear friend Freida, where ever you are.

From the shrink’s office we drove over to the pharmacy at Herongate Mall. It was a quick stop for prescriptions which as often takes long what with shortages and whatnot. The poor pharmacist is so overworked and understaffed that it is a shame to think about it.

The pharmacists and staff of the pharmacy have seen me in person only once in fifteen years. I like it that way because I have reasonable grounds for all my heavy dose prescriptions. They do know Peter so well who does take care of all my prescriptions. A simple questionnaire is supposed to be taken once or twice annually. I can’t be bothered to have the super nice pharmacist earn fifty or sixty dollars for every person they question. Right.

A little black car had been half buried in a snowpile during the winter. For the first time I noticed that the little black car had been moved from across the road by the pharmacy. Peter thought it had been towed away as a non-starter. I simply agreed with Peter that the little black car was an unplated wreck. A few pictures that we took of the little black car during the course of the winter didn’t tell us anything important. It was just one of life’s curious little mysteries that would remain unsolved for us.

Today is Tuesday. Every Tuesday is chicken tenders and wedgies from the Independent Grocer. It is a regular treat for us to enjoy the breaded and deepfried pieces of white chicken breast and coated potatoe slices. I usually manage to eat only two pieces of chicken tenders and a half dozen potatoe wedgies. Peter always eats the rest of the order that costs only ten dollars. It is funny how something so simple can become habitual, homey, and ‘Oh so darned good!’

After supper, we had thought to go to bed and snuggle or something. Well, Peter cleared away supper and the groceries we had bought. Then the next thing I knew was that I started watching a Steven King movie called, “11.22.63.” I also did my fair share of typing that I should have done days ago. I still haven’t caught up with my typing. That’s just the way it is, the way it always seems to be anyways.

Cathy, your seven sins are:
1.You don’t care what others think.
2.You speak your mind.
3.You are completely independent.
4.You don’t please others.
5.You hold grudges when needed.
6.You don’t entertain liars and cheats.
7.You ignore people who judge.

You use your weakness as your strength. You are a natural and have an amazing personality. Share this with your friends to discover their sins.


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