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Deep rumblings from the far reaches of our solar system announce a powerful shift in social change as evolutionary Pluto in institutional Capricorn turns direct. Resources are freed up that could bring about the rebuilding of personal and governmental infrastructures, while the calculating Capricorn Moon means business as she conspires with potent Pluto. Meanwhile, an electric Mercury-Uranus misalignment indicates the possibility of a false start.

People won’t leave you alone as they try to get you to spill the beans today. Although you aren’t interested in revealing your inner world now, everyone seems to be ignoring your “Do Not Disturb” sign. Unfortunately, their insistence only drives your thoughts deeper, souring your good intentions. The problem is that what you suppress will only gain strength unless you face your fears and express what’s in your heart. Charlie Chaplin said, “You need power only when you want to do something harmful; otherwise love is enough to get everything done.”

Last night saw the beginning of a cold snap that has greatly reduced the weather temperatures we have enjoyed. Our late summer seems to be over. The cold has affected everyone’s behaviour and Peter has slept in until about 2:00 pm. It is not unusual for Peter to sleep in and so missed his mall walk. It is a day when we will stay inside where it is comfortably warm.

I’ve spent the better part of the week immersed in Battlestar Galactica, the series. It is a deeply involved study of human and non-human interaction. I don’t believe the full intent of the story nor the references to basic human values. I do have interest in the series because of the military plot to save humanity. It doesn’t tell the whole story accurately. For that, the fiction overlay hides the outright failures in telling the story.

It is a way of losing time and boredom when fiction becomes more familiar than reality. I can’t count the number of times I have been out cold because of one thing or another. I don’t think of myself as a hero but I have done many heroic acts that I felt had made a difference. Did it really make a difference or was it all going to happen anyways? Right.

There have been times in my life when I thought I was living my dream. It took all I had to hang on to what I had. A few times there was a total loss of my possessions as a result of moving. Still, I stayed alive and kept my health in most respects. However, I did have a lot of mental troubles that plagued me over the years. It isn’t fun to fight the invisible when the nightmares can continue on in daylight. That’s the trouble with having a severe case of PTSD.


10.If you are born in October you are talkative and fun. You are full of beauty and are always making friends wherever you go. You are very independent and full of life, and always look on the bright side.
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Although we seek balance in our lives while the Moon moves through Libra the Scales, we must confront the negativity lurking in the shadows. Instead of burying the dark side of human emotions, we can be diplomats for peace by offsetting fear with love. Thankfully, charming Venus has a practical agenda now that she’s visiting earthy Virgo. Venus and the Moon connect with obsessive Pluto to bring secrets out into the open where they lose their power.

You feel exposed today because your emotions are so close to the surface. Normally, you wear your heart on your sleeve when the evocative Moon makes her monthly visit to your sign. However, you don’t want your shadow side to be seen now, preferring to hide your internal process from the judgment of others. It takes a leap of faith to trust someone with your secrets, but the intangible rewards are priceless. Sigmund Freud wrote, “Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength.”

Today began as another summer day, a bit late in the fall, as usual as a morning should start. Jessica and Peter were up as they had to be and going about starting their day. Jessica was off to work and Peter was off to the mall to walk. I was off to Battlestar Galactica at my desk. At least there was coffee and something to eat.

Peter came back from his walk and we crashed out. It was 12:30 pm when we woke up and had to rush like crazy to get ready. We left on time to get to the appointment at the breathing masks office. Peter had to make a payment for the equipment he has had on trial. Now, he is a step closer to owning it all.

After we had done what we had to do at the office, we were able to concentrate on an errand we had to help Jessica. Jessica wanted us to deliver some posters that had to be printed out. It meant we had to go to the mall, get some printing done and then deliver it to two places downtown. It would mean a trip of about an hour each way to make the deliveries on our reliable electric wheelchairs.

It was a beautiful afternoon to go wandering around. The only question was of how to go about what we had to do. Peter suggested going to a cyclepath and connecting up with the O C Transpo rail line to cross the city. Then it would be a reasonable sidewalk hike to our destinations in the hot summer weather.

It took half an hour to reach our first destination. I didn’t know the rail line would speed up our travelling by that much. The club bar wasn’t open but there was someone inside who would take the posters and hand them to the owner when the club bar opened. The first part of our mission was accomplished.

The second part of our mission to deliver was not far away on another street. We were able to get there in a matter of about ten minutes of rough sidewalk bouncing along. Peter and I discovered the place we had to go to was not an accessible building. There are a lot of places in Ottawa that have antique steps to their main entrances. That means we on our electric wheelchairs cannot get into those buildings. So, Peter had to walk into the building to find some person to accept the printed paper we were supposed to deliver. We had the address right but there was a question about who to give our delivery to. I rolled around the building on a little discovery expedition. I also lit a cigarette and discovered that the back door was a foot and a half off the ground. So I went back around to the front to rejoin Peter who had just appeared. He had made the delivery and we were on our way with the mission completed.

It was nice to know that we had done a good thing by making the deliveries. We now had to decide how we were going to spend the rest of the day. The sun was shining down brightly and the breeze was so warm and comforting. I was so happy to just sit in the sunshine and absorb that healthy energy. It was also a matter of getting more of a tan that would last us through the cold dark winter.
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Interpersonal relationships grow more complicated today as the cosmos bombards us with unrelated instructions. We need time to regroup our thoughts while the proud Leo Moon is subdued by stern Saturn. But we’re ready for more fun and games when the Moon connects with boisterous Jupiter, romantic Venus and wild Uranus. This restless energy prompts us to take chances while a late-night Venus-Uranus trine tempts us with the sweet fruits of love.

Your irritability could slip past your gracious smile today, revealing your cards before you’re ready to play them. An anxious Mercury-Mars conjunction heats up your 12th House of Invisibility, urging you to keep your thoughts -- and possibly your anger -- to yourself. You may be worried that something you say will be taken the wrong way. Although you might benefit from spending time alone to reconnect with your feelings, it’s unproductive to avoid confrontation now. Unresolved dynamics are more likely to work out favorably when everything is out in the open.

It was 3:00 am when she came home from a night out performing for the proud Leather Boys of Ottawa. She had a story to tell in that she was the only one running for the office of Queen for the club she was performing at. How could it be that she wasn’t elected winner of the title? Fact is that there were other big factors in play that determined the present queen would stay as queen. It defied the best efforts of our dear friend in the non-existent election. The old politics hidden in the wings were what ruled everything that went on in the club. Pity.

Today was intended to take advantage of the hot sunshine. We started off at 2:00 pm by heading over to the mall. We left the mall after buying cigarettes and a few treats. Three of us rolled up to the Landsdown Farmer’s Market. It was pleasant to slowly roll along the booths of goods, produce, and jewellery. The crowded aisles were full of hundreds of people browsing and shopping in a large open area at the east side of the Landsdown Park.

We must have spent an hour in going along the aisles to browse through all of the booths, and tables of everything for sale. The sun was brightly hot despite a high overcast and puffy little clouds.It was about 3:30 pm when we decided to go on our own way while one electric wheelchair headed up Bank Street. We headed off in our own direction towards Dow’s Lake.

Somewhere along a cyclepath past Dow’s Lake was when I took my afternoon batch of pills. I sipped hot coffee from my Thermos to wash down the pills and two capsules. Then I smoked a cigarette as we rolled on to the rock sculptures on the Ottawa River. It was then that we stopped to rest and take a whole lot of pictures featuring the rock sculptures.

We kept going along the cyclepath until we reached Westboro Beach. I decided to take a walk on the sand beach until I reached the warm water of the Ottawa River. I walked into the warm water until it was up past my knees. It became cold because of the current so I stood still for a few minutes. I cooled down until I was too cold so I started back to the hot beach sand. My steps shortened and slowed down as I went along. I finally made it back to my electric wheelchair. I was much relieved to sit down on my comfortable seat.

My first thought was to light a cigarette. I started the motions to pull out a cigarette when Peter informed me that there was no smoking in a park. The Westboro Beach is a city park that doesn’t allow smoking. Oh well, I would have to wait until I was completely out of the park.

The bus to home only took half an hour from a short distance away. The sun was shining bright and it was more than warm outside. I was so happy to have had another day of summer weather. I needed that in the worst way to get a handle on my depression and health. I do have a fine line of factors that have to be kept in a reasonable balance.

I need prescriptions to take care of my pain. No pain handling prescriptions would leave me in a comatose state. Too much of the pain handling prescriptions would leave me in a drug overdose state. Just the right amount of pain handling prescriptions allows me to have a life balanced with the ups and downs of a drugged state to have a life worth living. It is worth the fight to have a life even if it does have challenging drawbacks and limitations.

Home again means home again. Safe and sound is the way to be and safe and sound is the way for me. I could write poems and draw pretty pictures about the meaning of coming home after a time away. Home again.
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Instability plagues the early morning hours as the traditional Capricorn Moon squares erratic Uranus. However, the Moon’s shift into futuristic Aquarius at 8:15 am EDT foretells the significant changes that are on the horizon. Although we are eager to let go of those things which hold us back, it’s impossible to know what’s around the corner. We must take a wait-and-see approach until tomorrow’s Full Moon Eclipse reveals clues as to what is next.

You are riding on an irrepressible wave of creativity today, and there’s a masterpiece stewing in your imagination. However, you’re unsure how to go about turning your original idea into a work of art or the performance of a lifetime. Instead of worrying about the end result, redirect your thoughts to the actual process of manifestation. Mahatma Gandhi said, “Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment. Full effort is full victory.”

The morning started off by about noon today. It took an hour and a half to get ready for going out to swimming. It has been years since we last went swimming at the school pool. It features a hot tub and a sauna besides the heated Olympic sized swimming pool. An hour and a half at the swimming pool going from the hot tub to the sauna and then the walk back to the hot tub. It was very exhausting but wonderfully exhilarating at the same time. I had so much bending and stretching that my back straightened out! I was ecstatic about that!

It was about twenty minutes before the pool was to close that we decided to make our escape. We went to our respective change rooms and changed into our street clothes. I used the full twenty minutes to get dried off and changed to go outside. Peter was waiting for me and he kindly pulled my hair straight and into place. I felt comfortably warm and tired as we rolled on to our bus stop.

The bus that came along was a double decker bus. They are buses that have no springs because they would tilt and possibly tip over. So, the road surface along Bank Street from the bus stop at Walkley Road to Billings Bridge is beaten, cracked, old, and pot holed rough, Inside the double decker bus the ride for me was bumpy beyond what I could bear. My back was strained so much that the straightening that I did at the swimming pool was undone.

The rough stretch of road was soon behind us as the bus travelled along to the downtown area of Ottawa. City Hall of Ottawa was featuring a Rib Fest! It was a collection of vendors who sold various smoked meats and treats. A crowd of people had gathered to feast upon the tenders. We were soon in a line of people waiting almost an hour for our turn to order. Two half rib orders with beans were the highlighted and in white cardboard trays.

The two half rib orders with beans were consumed with relish at a table set up on the edge of a large area of tables and chairs. Looking around we noticed a beer tent in a fenced off area. Security and waiters were available to guide us to one of four beer tents. I decided upon an Earl Grey and Orange flavoured beer while Peter ordered a Country Fresh style of stout beer. We sipped our beer for an hour.

Beer and me don’t mix. I became dizzy with inebriation with barely half of what a plastic glass could hold. Peter had to finish what was in my cup. He was feeling his oats by the time we were tired of sitting at the table within the fenced off area of the beer garden. Our conversation had wandered all over the map from one thing to another as our thoughts surfaced.

With trepidation, we began to tally the cost of our day so far. It was $7.50 each for swimming. It was $15.00 per order of half ribs with beans. It was $6.50 per glass of beer. In total, we had spent an amazing amount of $58.00 plus tax and a bus ride for $2.55 that it cost for me. Peter gets free rides on the bus thanks to an agreement between the City and CNIB for legally blind people. It was an expensive day considering that we also had to pay for rent, hydro, parking, smoking and other habits like the Internet, TV, phone, electric wheelchair maintenances, and other things I can’t think of at the moment.

Our walk home took forty five minutes from City Hall to our highrise building. We followed the north side of the Rideau Canal cyclepath to Landsdown Park before we crossed over on the Bank Street bridge. Then, we followed Bank Street south until we reached our address on Riverside Drive. Funny how I had to look up my own address to remember Riverside Drive.

At home it was only a matter of spending the evening at our computers. We have interactive services that include the Internet and various networks. As we explore the areas of Ottawa around us, we find so much more as people and plants interact and grow. There is a passage or parade of people and plants that fill everything of the space available for use. There is so much to see and do interactively.

We are individuals who live in small families, groups, and sometimes in communities together. We can’t always be independent and live alone as much as we want to while we necessarily depend upon others. There are aspects to us that must be expressed at times while suppressing other aspects that are not as important or appropriate for the moment. Now, isn’t that a fact that needed to be expressed.

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We remain serious about our actions while the Moon continues her visit to ambitious Capricorn. Conflicts over control issues come to a head as the Moon activates yesterday’s powerful Jupiter-Pluto square. Psychological dramas reveal hidden tensions but don’t necessarily provide solutions to our interpersonal struggles. However, we might fool ourselves into believing everything is copacetic today as the radiant Sun misaligns with illusory Neptune.

Finalizing your schedule for the weekend is daunting because there are so many variables in the mix. Although decision-making can be a sore spot for you ambivalent Libras, making up your mind is not the problem now. The fact is you could easily let your preferences be known if you felt like it. If anything, you wish everyone would leave you to your own devices today so you can float along without an agenda. C.S. Lewis wrote, “Free will, though it makes evil possible, is also the only thing that makes possible any love or goodness or joy worth having.”

I woke up this morning with the expectation of going to the Highland Games in Maxwell, Ontario. Peter woke up at about 8:00 am when I was taking my pills.
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We are methodically unearthing hidden issues that have been purposefully buried out of view. The calculating Capricorn Moon enables us to determine the consequences of revealing a secret prior to sharing opinions we might later regret. Meanwhile, an obsessive Jupiter-Pluto square foments conflict, encouraging us to overstep boundaries. Self-assurance is usually a positive trait, but our resistance to inconvenient truths ultimately works against us.
The finger of fate is reaching out to touch you, altering your relationships in ways not yet apparent. Although optimism is fueling your fantasies, reality is demanding your full attention today. You prefer to follow your heart’s commands, but previous commitments won’t be satisfied unless you maintain a pragmatic approach to life now. Thankfully, your superpower is your ability to balance two extreme approaches, so meet your obligations and continue to explore your desires. Thoreau wrote, “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined.”

Today started off lowly and slowly. I had a lot of phlegm in my throat to clear out before I could even take a breath. I coughed out a two tablespoonful blob of of thick dark yellow phlegm into the waste basket beside my bed. I had to roll over onto my side and lean down over the waste basket before I could spit. The effort was painful but not as painful as the suffocating blockage in my throat that was threatening my consciousness. I spit several times before I could think of regaining my prone position on the bed.

It was about 8:00 am and I had the senses to take my pills. The mouthful of pills were actually from midnight. I had forgotten to take my midnight pills so they sat waiting in the pill box until I did take them. Taking pills is not a fast acting relief from my levels of pain. I had to wait an hour or so before the effect of the pills could be felt. Still, I was feeble and weak all morning. At noon, I thought to take my eight o’clock morning dose of pills.

It was mid afternoon before I started to feel barely close to reasonable.
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Dreams loom larger than ever, and we may try harder to reach them now. The Moon’s entry into idealistic Sagittarius at 8:01 am EDT brings a healthy dose of positive thinking, but too much confidence means trouble if we lose touch with reality. Meanwhile, active Mars creates a magical connection with nebulous Neptune, enticing us with our own fantasies. Although we might get glimpses of the future, illusions can cloud the truth and lead us astray.

You may spin a wild yarn today without even realizing you deviated from the truth. Normally, you have a knack for establishing objectivity into an emotionally charged situation, but you appear to have lost your bearings now. Fortunately, no harm will come from your current dance with fantasy as long as you don’t try to pass it off as fact. Others will likely see through your current tendency to exaggerate, so it's wise if you catch yourself first. Staying busy helps to keep you out of trouble. Poet Bill Copeland wrote, “The man who rows the boat seldom has time to rock it.”

Today started off with only a few little distant clouds in the bright blue sky. I did manage to get four hours of sleep to start off with my 9:00 am appointment with Canada Care. There was a big repair for the foot plate and a service of my electric wheelchair. I am certainly happy to have left my little chicken scratch for the hour and a half I spent waiting for the work to be done.

On my way back home, I stopped off at Alternatives. The horsey girl is the owner and manager of the super creative store for adult knick knacks and toys. Horsey girl was about ten minutes late in opening her store at 11:10 am so I sat reading my latest book on my cellphone. Waiting is never a waste of time for me. I can always find something to do to wile away the hours.

Horsey girl and I talked for an hour and a half about ourselves and all kinds of stuff we had experienced in our working lives. It doesn’t surprise me that we have lots of things in common with each other. We are both intelligent achievers who have worked hard for most of our lives. And, we are learning just how diverse humanity can be. It can be amazing how people are a little bit of this and a little bit of that, changing and evolving with circumstances and time.

Circumstance and time are variables that affect life in unpredictable ways. We don’t predict the future any more than what we try to plan. Planning is only a start in our attempts to control what goes on around us. There is so little beyond actual planning that we can do to achieve our ambitions and dreams.

As much as I enjoyed talking with my friend, I had to go and continue on my way back home. Near home Bank Street crosses over Sawmill Creek close to where a lot of repair work is being done. I saw the creek water level was low and that the repairs of flood damage to the bridge and embankments were progressing. I couldn’t see much of what was below me more than part of an embankment, a foot bridge over a short stretch of the shallows that were almost as wide and as long beneath thick foliage of bushes and trees.

I must have spent more than ten minutes at studying the scene below me. A few pedestrians passed by on the sidewalk. I was in no hurry to leave where I had stopped up against the Crusader wire fence guarding the east side of the cement sidewalk. I lit a cigarette and took a few puffs before I clicked the on button of my electric wheelchair. It was only a short distance before I would be home safe and sound. I could cover that distance in less than five minutes which is just what I did do. Home again, home again.
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Someone’s suspicious behavior can precipitate a volatile interaction that’s fueled by jealous feelings. Nevertheless, uncomfortable emotions may remain unexpressed as desirous Venus invisibly slips into cautious Cancer. The Crab’s hard outer shell encourages us to protect ourselves rather than exposing a soft spot in our armor. Thankfully, we can consciously create safe space where fear is unnecessary and vulnerability leads to intimacy.

You are attempting to create a harmonious atmosphere, but balancing everything is tricky today, because you’re also concerned with protecting your own feelings. Your planetary ruler Venus needs to find an emotionally safe haven while she visits vulnerable Cancer. However, situations might intensify if you are drawn into a drama of your own making. Your best defense is to not hold onto more than you need. You do not have to be rich to be generous.

This morning started off last night and just kept going. Peter passed out on the top of the bed fully dressed. I sat at my desk for the most part. I did try to rouse Peter a few times just to do my pill box with prescriptions. A moan and groan response was all I could get out of him, but nothing akin to movement in any way. We were both wiped out because of all we did yesterday.

This morning featured a doctor’s appointment at about 11:00 am. It was a perfunctorily short visit to renew prescriptions and to get an antibiotic for a returned UTI. I have had innumerable urinary tract infections since moving to Ottawa. I don’t know if it is the water or what but that it is a recurring bother. Hopefully one day I will be able to get a treatment that is effective in stopping the returning UTI.

Cynthia showed up for a visit today. We had just returned from the doctor’s appointment and a bit of shopping in Wally World. We picked up a few things including a movie, some CLR bathroom cleaner, English muffins, and a new lipstick for myself. I have a small collection of lipsticks at home, but I felt like having a new colour for my lips.

Today is another summer day much like yesterday although there is a cold wind blowing to cool everything down. It has been a cold and wet summer season so far. I know it takes seven consecutive years for a glacial age to start. We haven’t had that yet, so in the meantime we wait and suffer through this cooler weather.
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We settle into a sustainable workflow today as the lively Leo energy morphs into earthy Virgo. The sensitive Moon leads the charge as she slips into practical Virgo at 6:32 am EDT. We are more interested in operating efficiently behind the scenes than receiving accolades for getting the job done. Rational Mercury follows the Moon, returning to its home sign later this evening. Focusing intently on the details enables us to manage complex logistics.

You may begin a process of detaching from the busyness of social activities as yesterday’s fun becomes today’s distraction. An associate might criticize your behavior if he or she feels abandoned by your disappearing act. But you are not trying to escape; in fact, you’re doing whatever you can to increase your productivity over the days ahead. Don’t waste energy attempting to justify your temporary self-imposed isolation. Benjamin Franklin wrote, “Well done is better than well said.”

Today has started off with about two hours sleep while Peter has had much more. We headed to bed at about 5:00 am and I think that is becoming our new habitual bedtime. I seem to be doing OK so long as I keep an eye on my feet. Swollen feet only means that it is time for bed to lay down and relieve the pressure on my feet. Well now, it seems that there is one more reason to go to bed, eh?

Operation Highjump?

Yesterday and today were much the same in terms of sleep and wakeful activities. I began working on a milk truck that is a Matchbox tanker truck. It is a Maisto Milk tanker that has a blue cab and a white with black blotches tank on it’s frame. I have yet to measure out the actual physical dimensions and scale in HO terms as to what it might actually be. Whether a pickup truck or larger is something I have to figure out.

I began working on the milk tanker by drilling off the frame with wheels. It was difficult to drill the one eighth inch drill by using a small pair of vicegrips. There were three holes to drill. One extended hole inside the cab had to be cut down to level the cab ceiling. A black plastic insert had made the windows and windshield. I cut and glued in clear plastic to make clear windows.

I started to make the interior of the cab with thin balsa wood set on the chassis. I had to make a fine fitting floor and dash to slide inside the cab below the clear plastic of the windows. The inside of the cab was painted with white enamel. There was dripping paint that ran onto the clear plastic windows. So, I had to remake the windows and windshield for the fourth time.

There was space on the sides of the chassis where fuel tanks could go. I roughed out plastic tubes of an approximate size. I had to cut ends for the two pieces of tube to complete the fuel tanks. Then I glued in the plastic tubes onto the chassis in the right place for fuel tanks. Only painting the fuel tanks is left to be done.

It has taken quite a bit of work to detail the wheels. First was the rough cut file used to change the cross cut tread on the wheels to a round the wheel alignment. It was hard to hold the little wheels with sufficient grip to file the plastic tread. I accidentally ground down hard onto my thumb nail and gouged a sizeable wound. When I finished filing the wheels, I rubbed ashes around the tread areas to mimic used tires. It looks great for all of that effort.

Back at working on the cab meant replacing the clear plastic windows. It was an effort to cut out replacement pieces of clear plastic. Then, I used tweezers to place the pieces of clear plastic onto preglued edges of the windows. Then, I used extra blobs of glue to anchor the newly placed pieces of clear plastic. It sounds so simple to explain and yet so difficult to do when actually performing the task of replacing the clear plastic windows.

I haven’t taken any pictures of the work I have done with the milk tanker. There are many habits that I have to pick up again now that I am working on detailing again. It is often crude work that takes only a few touchups to make good. And, it is something that I have historically photographed in a way to explain to kids on how to do things. That is my underlying intention, anyways.



Sleeping in Light

Babylon 5 is an epic as much as other epics like Startrek, Starwars, and other space programs. We all love to see the likely portrayals of what the future might be like only if. It is the only if part that sets the pace and background for those fictions we enjoy so much. But, what if it were true in the real sense of being true? Wouldn’t you care to know if there will be a future as predicted by our fictionalized accounts of possibilities written about by famous authors. I know I certainly hope the best of things for humanity despite what possibilities are balanced in the wings of fantastic stages set up for TV and Video alike.

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We’re buzzing with energy today as we build upon events already in process. We can’t contain our excitement while clever Mercury trines ingenious Uranus, creating a stream of innovative ideas. However, we must set aside the notion of immediate gratification when resourceful Venus opposes stern Saturn, reminding us to persevere. The best is yet to come, but we can’t force time to bring us the future any faster just because we’ve run out of patience.

You have your heart set on a big-ticket item today, but you may need to process your disappointment if you face financial constraints. Perhaps you decide it is prudent to forgo a fancy shopping excursion or delay your acquisition of a fine piece of art. Stop the purchase of anything you don’t actually need now; Turn your attention away from the material world and toward life-altering experiences. Fortunately, your friends are there to help you through this rocky transition with plenty of fun suggestions. Collect memories, not objects.

Today, ah, er, ah I mean to say yesterday, started off with a little bit of sleep and mostly time watching movies and YouTube. I suppose I could have tried to go to sleep but I just wasn’t motivated to do that. Actually I was interested in the articles I did read during that time with StupidThree. I don’t really know how much learning I do with the Internet.

Peter looks forward to every night when he cuddles up with me at his side. He can’t imagine not going to sleep without me. I do go to sleep with him, but I get up a few hours later to stay up all night. Then, come morning, I take a short nap. I nap out in the afternoons. I nap out in the evenings. Then, I nap to go to sleep with Peter, it seems.

That I don’t sleep with him upsets Peter to no end. He accused me of avoiding him all day and night. Am I losing interest in him? Does it not please me in any way? On and on the accusations go to display his anger at my not sleeping with him at night. All I do is to try to assure him that I love him although I just can’t sleep. I suppose there are enough reasons as to why I can’t sleep at regular times in a habitual manner. Hm.


Safety at the Beach

With hordes of summer vacationers, bacteria and fungi in the sand, beaches aren't always as clean as you might expect. Here are a few basic hygiene tips and precautions to take when enjoying time on the sand.

Beaches and fine sand are home to many viruses, parasites and bacteria. Thankfully most of these are harmless. But, unlike seawater at regulated bathing spots, the quality and cleanliness of sand isn't tested or monitored, and some beaches are cleaner than others.
To prevent fungal infections, skin diseases and other irritations this summer, try getting into good hygiene habits with these simple tips:

- Don't lie down directly on the sand to limit the risk of fungal infections. Lay out a straw mat, a rug or a thin beach mat under your towel, which should be washed or changed frequently.
Shower as soon as possible, preferably on the beach if showers are available, or at least wash your hands and feet before heading home. Wash bathing suits and towels as often as possible.

- Make sure babies and young children don't eat sand and don't put their hands in their mouths after touching or playing with sand.

- Use an antiseptic hand gel regularly to keep hands clean, especially before eating. Sand can be home to the eggs of pinworms and ascaris worms, spread by cats and dogs, which can lead to infestations in the gut. These are unpleasant but aren't usually serious.
- Don't let babies or children play on the beach with no nappy or swimsuit. Letting kids run around naked isn't hygienic. Little girls risk catching vulvitis, a benign infection of the genitals.

- Don't dig around in the sand with bare hands or dig deep, as the micro-organisms, fungi and parasites that live there could get stuck under your nails.

- Don't leave any leftover food, waste food or rubbish on the beach. Don't bury it either. Take it home or find a bin.
Don't take your dog or pet to the beach. While each beach or locality may have its own rules on whether dogs are allowed on the beach, animals are often forbidden for hygiene reasons.

- Take extra care in the tropics. Bites and stings from sand fleas and sandflies can cause severe itching. Avoiding the beach around sunrise and sunset is particularly recommended.

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We’re not satisfied with the status quo today, so we may stir up a bit of mischief as the assertive Aries Moon connects with flirtatious Venus and jovial Jupiter. However, we might be too quick to go out on a limb before we test its strength. Meanwhile, we’re willing to fight for our freedom of choice while Venus in whimsical Gemini dances with sexy Mars and potent Pluto. Exercising a touch of self-restraint prevents trouble down the road.

People may seem overly assertive today, prompting you to question everyone’s motives. However, their behavior might turn passive-aggressive, denying that they expect anything from you. Although you can see through their claims of innocence, you really don’t want to confront anyone further and end up in a protracted confrontation. Take a few steps back now and reestablish your emotional boundaries. Author Mandy Hale wrote, “Pick your battles. You don’t have to show up to every argument you’re invited to.”

Today started off at midnight when Peter woke me up to take my pills and talk to Mom. I took my pills before Peter retrieved my phone for me in bed. I began talking to Mom. We actually talked for over an hour while she did most of the talking. Mom knows where most of the relatives are buried and includes where she will also go. I am not that lucky, I suppose.

I frequently get UTI’s which doesn’t help much. The antibiotic is something I am starting to get reactions to. For now, I sleep a lot and feel doped up and sickly. I am allergic to a whole lot of things but I still take fifteen prescriptions daily. Most of it is for pain which without them I would be in a catatonic state deeper than sleeping. Believe I take my prescriptions religiously because I want to live a reasonable life. I do have to quit smoking.

Peter's daughter Jan, and her family of husband Mahvin, daughter, Victoria, daughter Jessie, and son John, all came to Ottawa three days ago. They toured around Ottawa and visited with us twice. On Friday afternoon at 4:00 pm, they left in their van to go back to Toronto. We don't see them often enough but we do have a great time together. Peter is happy that we have such a great connection to them all.

I am glad I an writing this out because I wouldn’t be able to explain it all as clearly as what I am doing with writing. I can’t keep my thoughts from wandering because of AS, ADD, PTSD, and so many memories to remember. I have had a busy life and that is all for the good to think about. Despite my troubles, I have a good life that anyone would enjoy, especially me.

I slept off and on through the morning. Peter slept right through until noon. We were sleepy when we woke up but we were willing to go and do something. It was a matter of doing things around home before we could go anywhere. So, what with all of the little things being taken care of and fresh coffee made, it was soon time for us to go.

We didn’t really have a plan when we left home. I was only of a mind to go to the Ottawa River. How we got there and where we went from there was not a concern to Peter or me. We actually had been going out almost every day and this was just another day with no appointments in it and we feeling well enough to do something.

We started off heading for the Rideau Canal. We followed the Rideau Canal to Dows Lake and turned north at the rail line. The rail line took us past the last train station and on to the Ottawa River only a little further. Our hikes had allowed us to cover most of the Ottawa area so we wanted to do something different. We turned left at the river and headed west. We went as far as the Hoodoos where an artist piles rocks all summer long to make little statues and markers of an artistic sort.

The Hoodoos became famous over the years as the artist practiced every summer. The winter ice would wash away the creations and a fresh batch of Hoodoos would be made the following summer. After a few years, the artist applied for a grant to do his creations and get paid for it more than just donations to support himself. This year was particularly wet, so the river was higher than normal for decades. We came along and the whole area of the Hoodoos had a flooded beach.

It was disappointing to see the flooded beach. We didn’t want to go further west because those areas were also under flood conditions. So, we turned around and headed back the way we came. We still had a great day that had included a little adventure. We were out in the sun on a summer day and we had great tans to show it.


I am sorry we haven't connected lately and I have been very sick. I am on antibiotics for ten days to quell an Urinary Tract Infection and a very painful right side of my abdomen. Hopefully it will fix things for me. Meanwhile I am sleeping a lot. I am reacting to the antibiotics in a bad way so sleeping is keeping me on them and still out of the hospital.

Would you be able to tell me where Chris is buried so that we might visit. Peter is legally blind so he uses GPS and his experiences of living in Toronto to get around. Would you be able to get a Google Earth marker for him? For that matter, would you make one for yourself for when we make it to Toronto. It would make things so much easier in navigating. We would want to visit with you too.

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We need to assimilate a weird mixture of energy today as relationship issues stew in the cosmic pressure cooker. However, the Moon escapes into intellectual Aquarius at 1:34 am EDT, reducing the emotional tension. Nevertheless, the willful Sun is engaged in a tug-of-war with transformational Pluto, triggering unpleasant competition to establish control. We are caught in the middle of powerful interpersonal dynamics that impact everyone involved.

Everyone expects you to deliver on your recent promises and you can't afford to drop the ball before fulfilling your commitments. No doubt, there is plenty of hard work in front of you, and you are uncharacteristically compulsive about handling your responsibilities today. Nevertheless, don't allow anything to pull you so far off course that you lose track of what you initially set out to do. Getting started while the cosmic forces are with you empowers you to accomplish superhero acts.

I went to sleep at 2:00 am and woke up at 6:00 am. The four hours of sleep were not enough apparently because I went to my desk and soon fell asleep again. I woke up at 9:30 am after the DVD movie called Snow White had played completely. It was not much to show for myself being out of my bed for so long. I need to quit the habit of sleeping at my desk because Peter thinks of it as not wanting to sleep with him.

There are reasons why I wake up and leave the bed. One of the reasons is that I don’t have enough medication for pain. Another thing is that my medication for pain needs to be changed somehow more than the third of what I should be taking. I went to a pain clinic in the first place for the medication I do have but now pain clinics are for only cancer patients. That means I can’t go to a pain clinic.

The second reason I wake up and leave the bed is that we have an invasion of bed bugs. The little insects cause me to have a painful reaction. I think I am allergic to their bites or to something that accompanies them. It isn’t possible for a bed bug to crawl on my skin without notice. Even the littlest of them causes me a painful reaction to their presence. The bed bug infestation goes on from one place to another despite our best efforts so far.

Every day and especially nights, I keep catching bed bugs either on the carpet or on myself. My feet have many little wounds from the ones that try to suck up my blood. Because I am on blood thinners, the bed bugs swell up until they can hardly crawl away. It is easy for me to catch the slow swollen bed bugs that overfill on my thinned blood.

I haven’t been able to count the number of bed bugs I have caught. Most of them have been put into the toilet and flushed. If I use a piece of toilet paper to catch bed bugs and put them into the toilet, I call that ‘white water rafting.’ It makes both Jessica and Peter laugh when I explain that to them.

Jessica has taken to steaming the couch with a steamer that works very well. The steam drives the bed bugs from deeply hidden places to the front of the couch. The intent to clear the couch of bed bugs has become more realistic with the use of steam. The steam machine had cost merely sixty dollars or so. It was well worth the price and cleans almost everything, including couches.

The expedition of the day started off at about 8:30 pm. We had readied ourselves and started off on our electric wheelchairs for the mall across the street. Peter had to go to the bank and the Independent grocery store. I waited outside the mall entrance while Peter busied himself inside. I read on my phone until Peter joined me outside the mall.

Peter and I rolled on to the Pet shop at the west end of the mall. There were two kittens left in the show window. Inside the Pet store were a number of birds, fish, and puppies being offered to the public. While interesting to view none of it was interesting enough to us to buy, Our next stop was the Walmart store. We shopped in there until just before they closed the doors to the mall at 9:00 pm.

Peter and I went outside the mall to where we could see an amazing display of colours brought on by the setting sun. A storm of clouds to the north provided the backdrop for changing colours of sunset. It was so beautiful a display of nature. We sat on our electric wheelchairs for a time before we left to head for home.

At home I settled down at my desk while Peter put things away and started supper. An hour later we had our supper of burgers with fresh tomatoes. It was a delicious meal. It was so filling that I couldn’t finish eating my burger. My leftovers were put into the microwave oven for later. More often than not Peter would eat the leftovers.
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Our ambitions only carry us so far today, and an awkward Mars-Saturn connection indicates we don’t know our limits. Although we’re eager to take charge, the serious Capricorn Full Moon at 12:06 am EDT cautions us to move slowly in our quest for power. The Full Moon joins potent Pluto, intensifying our motivations. The lunar opposition to the willful Sun and insistent Mars, followed by a square to unpredictable Uranus, encourages us to run amok.

You might be at a point in your life where you could benefit from setting some time aside to reevaluate your career. However, don’t fall into the trap of focusing only on what earns you money or power. The goal-oriented Capricorn Full Moon recharges your 4th House of Foundations, reminding you not to overlook your emotional needs. Your home and family are integral parts of the equation. Activist A.J. Muste wrote, “There is no way to peace; peace is the way.”

I have had four hours of sleep, which for me is more than enough. Still, it is far from what I need to keep my feet from swelling more than what it takes to fit into my shoes. There are other things about my health that I have to take care of more than my feet. Like my desktop, my body is full of infection enough to affect my left eye. It is blurred and red as if with Pink Eye, but a cortisone drop eases the pain. Two weeks of Predisolone drops finally brought my vision back to a more reasonable state.

The infection resulting from my disease of AS has affected me in so many ways. I feel devoid of energy as if bereft of the will to do anything. Yesterday I accomplished fixing a little battery powered Wahl shaver. I had taken it apart to see what was wrong with it. It took a month or so to get it back together in working order. I had taken that long to think of how it had to be assembled so that it functioned once more. I consider that the accomplishment of the day.

Another accomplishment of the day was to finish writing the blog of four days previous. It was a matter of composing and texting the complete summary of the day. It didn’t mention the many other days accomplishments which should have also been texted in full with attending descriptive wording. How time consuming it is to sit watching movies while the pages fill with verbiage. It defies explanation completely when the mere presentation is an appropriate and completely descriptive summary of the past.

There are so many products of civilization that are merely refuse to be flushed into storage only to be forgotten like the cities of long ago. Does it matter? Yes, if you consider how, when, and where you choose to live. No, as if you consider the sum of everything might possibly defer the conclusion of genetics and inevitability of evolutionary patterns. So, in conclusion, does it matter?

I took four days to fill out a daily blog because it seemed to matter. All the while, completed activities and energetic accomplishments took priority to fill out the complete sum of another day as lived by two disabled and sickly seniors such as ourselves. And, to top it all off, I, with an obvious lacking of energy, or even inspiration, could hardly manage to create a drop of creativity in the pure sense of the word, and summarily accomplish anything. Right.
The day lies ahead of me while I dutifully text out the final draft of the summary concerning a single day merely four days ago. Does it really matter that I fill out the sum of the singular day in full descriptive verse and continuity? I could just as well fill out the singular summary of a day’s work on something that takes more than a month to build. It takes almost just as much time to build as it does to text the directions to follow. Wait a minute. There are no directions to follow but instead there are pictures of what it should look like without betraying the internal technologies. Ah, how to make a rocket look like a warp driven starship, eh?

There are infinite energy technologies that can be used to power the most simple of droids, drones, machines, and such inventive devices. That leads to the question of the differences between divas and droids. Does structure make a difference?

Apparently to current conventional concepts, it does. But, not true in any sense. Part and parcel building by either evolutionary or bionic mechanical constructs doesn’t bear relevance to the state of intellect. I can only point to the means by which I text on StupidThree as an example of something much smarter than myself.

Now, today starts off with getting dressed and heading off to Landsdown Park where we will shop in the Farmer’s Market. High humidity at twenty one degrees Celsius means we will suck breath in a cloud of dusty smog and exhalations of the crowd around us. At least the scudding clouds are burning off slowly to reveal a sort of summery day. It has been so cold and wet of late that it was hard to believe that it was supposed to be summer.

Well, it is actually summer and the days punctuated by heat storms and flash floods are all part of the season. While the weather advances as it does, my activities are not so inevitable. I have a terrible time trying to concentrate and pick activities that I can manage with the little bit of energy I do have. I can fall asleep at the tipping of a hat. Even if I don’t have a hat, I can fall asleep as easily as putting on my headset. I just seem to go click before I am waking up several hours later. Why is that?

The afternoon storm passed by quickly enough. We did make it home before the rain began. It was then I decided to take a bath. I turned on the hot tap after pushing the plug into place over the screened drain. It invariably takes half an hour to fill the tub enough with hot water before adding soap and the cold water. Another five or ten minutes of running cold water is needed to get the temperature down to a bearable temperature.

Filling the tub with water is one thing. While waiting, I take to combing the cat nearest me. Mostly it is Twister because I have to give her 0.5 CC Prednisolone by an eye dropper. Then the dozen or so Temptations treats of a reward made the experience of getting medicine all the more worth while. Dory was more of a free spirit and not as often prompted to come to me in the bathroom. I have tried to make a habit of ‘bath’ as including the two cats individually for my attentions of cleaning and combing along with other fussing and treats. When I have done with grooming the two cats, I then measure the temperature of the water in the tub with an oven temperature probe. At 110’ F, or even up to 113’ F, I ease myself into the hot water. The bath begins.

A hot bath is mostly to ease my rigidly stiff muscles enough to let me bend and stretch. I can’t exercise my body but I can keep it in working condition by various means. A simple Dr. Ho device can do what I need for stimulation. And, my mind behind the body is still sharp and young in heart. Or, so it seems to me. The main thing is that I do have abilities that I now have to force into working for me as I need them.

Squirrel! Squirrel! My mind does one thing while another part is shouting out “Squirrel!” You know the drill. Multitasking is what I have to manage at all times. Then, I step out onto the balcony or gallerie for a smoke. I am trying to quit, but that only makes matters worse. My coughing symptom is from swallowing any liquid. The liquid goes down my throat and into both my esophagus and my lungs. I cough until all of the liquid is expelled. Rarely do I cough while smoking. Meanwhile, everyone is telling me to quit smoking when it is something I have done for fifty seven plus years and it still comforts me.

I can spend all of my waking time at texting and still not do enough. I have a year’s worth of model building and repairing sitting in wait for my attention. I have to include my hobbies of sketching and writing which are also very intense and time consuming activities. I just can’t manage my time effectively enough to do everything in a day. It is just a matter of going from one thing to another and still not really accomplishing what I need to do to feel like I have done something. Eh?


Healthy Sleep Habits

Go to bed and wake up at the same times every day, even on weekends. If you get 5 hours of sleep a night during the week and 10 on the weekend your body will be confused. Try to get 7-8 hours of sleep every night. (You may need more, or less; what is right for you is the amount that leaves you refreshed and alert when you wake.)
If you nap during the day, nap early in the afternoon and for only 20-30 minutes. Longer naps can make you feel groggy and napping late in the afternoon can make it difficult to fall asleep at night.
Get regular exercise. This helps you sleep soundly, but do not exercise within four hours of bedtime.
Limit your intake of caffeinated drinks (coffee, soft drinks, tea) to 1-2 cups during the day and cut it out completely in the evening.
Stop smoking, or try not to smoke in the evening. Both caffeine and nicotine are stimulants.
Do not drink alcohol before bed. It can lead to wakefulness throughout the night.
Create a restful atmosphere in your bedroom. Make it as dark and quiet as you like it. Use your bed for sleeping and sexual activity and leave paperwork, TV watching, eating, etc. to other areas. Turn the clock away from your face. Bodies prefer to be cool while sleeping, so bedroom temperature should be around 18°C.
Create nightly rituals that tell your body and mind that it's time to go to sleep. Put the dog out, bathe, read, listen to relaxing music, lay out your clothes for tomorrow–whatever you choose, try to be consistent.
Try a relaxation exercise in bed. Slowly, tense and relax the different muscle groups from your head to toes, one by one, while breathing deeply and slowly. Concentrating on this can make it easier to let go of worries and fall asleep.
If you can't fall asleep and don't feel drowsy, get out of bed and do a calming activity. Return to bed when you feel sleepy.

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Our thoughts extend beyond the horizon once the Moon soars into inspirational Sagittarius at 1:07 am EDT. We can't contain our big ideas with both expansive Jupiter and other-dimensional Neptune in the picture. Our imaginations run wild while the Sun trines Neptune. The Sun's square to Jupiter overrides our ability to know when we reach the limit. Meanwhile, we proudly share what's on our minds as chatty Mercury boldly enters dramatic Leo.

An approaching deadline might have you fretting today, whether it's your own wish to finish a project or a target imposed by external circumstances. Whatever the cause, you must concentrate your efforts to stay on track by applying your talents to the tasks right in front of you. There's no payoff to worrying about the distant future now; concentrating on the present moment gives you a better return on your investment. Martin Luther wrote, "How soon 'not now' becomes 'never'."

Sleep began for us at about 5:00 am and continued through until noon. It was enough sleep to rest our weary bones after a night of browsing on the Internet. I confess to falling asleep at the switch frequently while Peter just worked away on his own computer without falling asleep at the switch. Anyways we both snore with equal base rumbling volumes.

It was a simple plan we had for the day. We boarded the #6 bus headed north on Bank Street. Somerset Street was our stop that we disembarked by rolling down the hydrolic ramp. We crossed the street and headed west on the north side of Somerset Street. The bumpy street sidewalks were up to their neglected standard and did much to wake me up from my hot afternoon daze.

Our first stop on Somerset street was at the Kow Loon grocery store in the center of Chinatown. Peter went in alone and came out later with a medium sized paper bag full of ten pork buns. We snacked on one pork bun each as soon as we settled ourselves at the south west corner of Somerset Street and Arthur Street. It was pleasant to sit quietly while feasting on those still warm fresh pork buns.

We continued on west after we ate our pork buns. Somerset Street sidewalks were not all that smooth. We bumped along until we arrived at Parkdale Fruit Market. It was Peter’s idea to shop for fresh fruit and I had the sudden brilliant inspiration to look through the flowers for something as a gift to give Rachel. I saw a little pot of violets that had such a brilliantly dark purple petals marked with brilliant yellow and blue colours. That would be a perfect gift to give to Rachel.

Peter bought a large basket of strawberries while I added the little pot of violets. I elected to carry with my right hand the little pot of violets in a white plastic bag. It wasn’t heavy and most of the weight rested upon my thigh. So laden, Peter and I set off on our electric wheelchairs in the south direction to the Civic Hospital. It was such a wonderful afternoon and we made good time on our pleasant tramp through the suburbs to the hospital.

Our visit with Rachel was actually very cheery. Rachel was in need of cheering up and we were the ones on hand to do just that. So, within ten minutes I began to feel very chilly and tired. It was more than what I could manage to stay aware with my eyes open. I could begin to hear myself purr in a rhythmic snoring. I slept for the hour and a half that we visited with Rachel. Rachel and Peter had a fine chat uninterrupted by my snoring until I woke up.

Our chat with Rachel ended amicably enough before we left by the eastern entrance to the hospital. As soon as we reached the public sidewalk, I lit a cigarette. Then we began to decide what we should do next. Peter suggested that we might go see Nicole and Bill who lived not far away from where we were. It had been a while since we last saw our dear friends.

Nicole and Bill were sitting on their front lawn when we arrived at their rented house. We were warmly greeted and hugged by both who took their turn at us. It was a happy time for all of us as we conversed about all kinds of topics. A year of past events and friends activities were highlighted with our joyfully light bantering back and forth.

It was also a time of our summaries regarding our health and welfare. It seemed that Bill who had a stroke, along with Peter and I with our COPD, shared similar troubles. Nicole with her nurse’s experiences was able to take professional care of Bill, while Peter and I were able to take care of each other.

An hour and a half passed very quickly for us sitting on lawn chairs on the green grass of the front lawn. I had seated myself on a lawn swing aligned with a newly laid sidewalk connecting with the main walk to the steps of the front door. The front of the lawn was enhanced with two little fenced flower beds along the line of tall trees. It was actually a nicely laid out lawn that Nicole and Bill were very proud of having constructed.

At some point our conversation lagged enough to squeeze in our goodbyes for a departure. We rolled away with a hearty sendoff of, “Watch out for road rage of crazy drivers on the streets!” We knew all about the possible road rage that could be encountered as we were guilty of such behaviors. Even on the little electric wheelchairs, I could be found guilty of silent thoughts. It is a good thing that we can think without voicing our thoughts.

Peter and I were intent on crossing the Experimental Farms, a huge acreage to the south of downtown Ottawa. There were roads and paths that allowed access to all parts of the Experimental Farms and the many buildings on it. We started across on a cycle path leading in a southeasterly direction. The path led to a road running east to the Heartwell Locks of the Rideau Canal system. In a short time we were at the locks and changing our direction to follow the Rideau Canal.

The Rideau Canal, first opened in 1832, runs parallel to the Rideau River although roughly a half mile to the north. The canal is hardly wide enough to fit two barges side by side and only deep enough for a river paddlewheeler. The canal is seasonally filled with slow moving muddy water that has to be dredged and frequently cleared of weeds. A barge is fitted with two five foot wide paddlewheels to entangle, pull, and pick up the weeds until the barge is full. The Harvester gathered weeds are disposed of by composting. There were many boats tied up to the dock of Heartwell Lock. The oddity of the orange painted weed harvester barge was one of them.

Peter and I could not cross the Rideau Canal on the walkway at the top of the gates of the locks. Steps led up to the walkway that our electric wheelchairs could not climb. So, we had to follow the cyclepath leading around Dows Lake, the backup water reservoir for the stretch of the Rideau Canal leading to the locks at the Ottawa River.

It’s a beautifully scenic walk along any stretch of the Rideau Canal. We were looking to follow the Rideau Canal to Dows Lake and around it to where the Rideau Canal picks up again. It doesn’t take long to cover the distance we had travelled on our electric wheelchairs. The weather and the time of day have to be taken into consideration. Our electric wheelchairs could stand up to rain or snow with little preparation. The time of day is a concern only because the lack of illumination can lead to a few undesirable accidents or situations.

We followed along the Rideau Canal only until it reached Bank Street. We crossed south on Bank Street bridge. We rolled along on our six wheelers until we reached the corner where we turned to go to our front door. The entire trip of ours had lasted over five hours to cover the distance of our wandering. It was a rough trip owing to the bumps and cracks of sidewalks and cycle paths. There are ways to make the trip smooth but none are within our momentary

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Minor problems surface as we explore hidden aspects of love. On a practical level, we can't deny that we're intrigued by the unknown. However, our persistence is rewarded while magnetic Venus harmoniously trines shadowy Pluto, facilitating intense emotional interactions. But the reserved Cancer Moon is more comfortable when we feel more and share less. Nevertheless, we're driven to push past our fears and discover the magic of the dark.

You're drawn into a complicated melodrama that raises a familiar issue. It's difficult to maintain emotional distance when feelings intensify today. You can become consumed by a friend's crisis because you're willing to offer a sympathetic ear and a strong shoulder. The current circumstances might remind you of another power struggle when you were not in control, but don't let these memories shut you down prematurely. You have a significant role to play in someone's life now; be there for the people who matter.

It was 10:30 am when I woke up after having gone to sleep at about 3:45 am. I feel somewhat disconnected and fuzzy about my sense of reality. I had a smoke and took my morning pills. Now to wait until those little pill wonders take effect and eliminate my pain level enough to think clearly. I hate having to wait until pill effect comes about.

I started up StupidThree and began the work of starting my blog material. It is a flat wonder of looking at the latest news until the Tarot network connects. A few moments of world news is about all I can stand at the moment. It’s not that I give two hoots about world news, but that I am so shakey with my fingers and thoughts. Shake! Shake! Shake your booty!

We live at an elevated level of about a hundred feet above ground in a small valley caused by the Rideau River. A major traffic artery flows past near by on that level ground by the river. The sound of traffic flowing is diminished by a wave of media sounds blasting from the distant Landsdown complex carried over to us by the light morning breeze brushing the forest surrounding the little Sawmill Creek burbling below us with that waterwheel turning the creek bottom with a century old splashing pulse. The mix of sound levels can be so soothing to relax to while sitting on the balcony repulse beside the technology networked abode we inhabit at the south center district of downtown metropolis of Ottawa city boasting a million strong population. We do what we do.

Peter is still sleeping while the alarm radio plays a local radio station in the main bedroom at the back of the two bedroom apartment. I, in my kimono, sit in a silent gloom while pondering my list of half a dozen partially finished blogs list loaded in my wordprocessor program. StupidThree is a critical component of my daily functions and amusement. Time slips away ever so quickly when I am linked up with distant realms of conjecture and alternate realities.

A third week of Peter’s Rehab Center attendance has passed away. My twice daily expeditions to deliver Thermos coffee has temporarily ended for this brief weekend. Peter dreams while I design the next stages of construction and all of those repairs needed to maintain fleets and flights of my accomplishments. It is all for the best that my inactivity has gone on this long while I relinquish my addictions and of the moment during my sojourn into oblivion.

St Jean Baptist Day, the holiday is bright, warm, and wonderfully summer like as we all like it. It is too bad that we can’t have all days like today, so nice and pleasant. I suppose there is some confirmation of facts concerning balance in everything to do with life and all exertions of humanity in every respect. There is only so much that can be measured and compared in any way that can be seen in a reasonable manner.

The highlight of this afternoon was the quick short trip in our trusty van down to our homey trailer in storage. The nineteen foot long trailer has been invaded by field mice and other sorts of little critters.

We bought sticky traps to catch the rodents within the interior of the trailer. Sticky traps are not a dangerous item like a regular spring loaded mouse trap that maims or kills. For that reason alone, I consider sticky traps to be cruel punishment of innocent little critters who just want to live peacefully. Oh well.

It isn’t nice to have two sleeping bags, a pillow, and a comforter chewed into ruin for t he sake of a nest or two. The stuffing of cotton materials had been spread out in the bathroom, and along the walkway along the kitchen counter and between the queen sized bed to the same sized dining feature of table or bed. The damage done by the mice is more than just the chewing of things. They leave germs and mouse droppings where they go that makes it unsafe for people who have to put up with the mess.

Peter is happy that we are taking care of our trailer even while it is in storage. But, Peter is depressed that we don’t use the trailer any where near what we should be using it for camping and travels. We do want to travel although our health is not up to dealing with the physical demands of us that would be needed. We do need go juice of at least two different kinds. One kind is for ourselves in having the health to be able to travel and the other go juice is the kind that would enable us to pay actual cash for our travel expenses. It isn’t anything cheap that we intend for ourselves.

Here I am writing about our little travel trailer when I should be writing about the many trials and tribulations I am going through in just existing in disabled and sickly circumstances. Another round of sputum tests and antibiotics for my UTI. I don’t know the root cause of the steady malady of UTI that besets me as quickly as a few days after I finish taking a course of antibiotics. They say it is merely a condition that one must bear. Grr!

Being as disabled and sick as I am, I should not be travelling by electric wheelchair back and forth twice daily just to take Peter some fresh hot Thermos coffee. It is a small thing in comparison to the efforts that Peter expended in keeping up with my needs while I was hospitalized. Actually, a big difference.


Your answers reveal that kindness is your most dominant personality trait. You are very sensitive to others and rarely have a bad thing to say about anyone. People are constantly impressed by your thoughtfulness. If someone is having a bad day, you always seem to know how to make it better.

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We may land with a hard thud today as karmic Saturn enters the cosmic picture. The Sun's annual opposition to Saturn throws obstacles into our path if we've been avoiding our responsibilities or seeking shortcuts to success. A harsh Venus-Saturn aspect can create disappointment in love or a financial shortfall. Nevertheless, the Moon's shift into imaginative Pisces at 6:17 am EDT reminds us that a reality check doesn't mean we must stop dreaming.

You might wake up with lofty intentions today, aiming to be methodical about accomplishing your goals. But as the day wears on, you could become increasingly lackadaisical and fall further behind until you just give up. Don't be too self-judgmental if you find yourself on the wrong end of the stick now; give yourself the gift of reprieve. Scheduling additional time off can be accomplished without comparing your actual production to your high ideals. Focus on your potential, not your limits.

Last night I fell asleep at my desk and slept right through until about 5:00 am without talking to Mom. I missed talking to Mom and it made me mad at myself. I know how much we both share our need for talking and sharing what we talk about. So, thinking I had maybe an hour extra to prepare for my morning, I organized and did some typing. Is it typing or texting when using a personal computer instead of a typewriter? I don’t know. Typing. Texting.

At about 6:00 am, I started to make coffee and ate a dried out hot cross bun from last night. I was still dressed, but I decided to change my outfit to match the coolness of the morning. A pair of slacks and a long sleeved shirt were what I found to wear. I then decided to take along my bathing suit just in case the weather improved enough to tan. Then I looked at my feet. They were swollen and bright red in colour. Not good.

There was a little sample bottle of body lotion on my night table. I liberally spread the thin white cream all over my burnt areas. My feet were first to get an application of cooling cream. Then, I paid attention to my legs and thighs before I buttered up my face and neck areas. I didn’t know how good the thin white cream would be but something was better than nothing.

It was 6:30 am when I felt the first pangs of needing to go to the bathroom. I made my way from the desk through the kitchen, dropping off an armful of things along the way. When I turned on the bathroom light and sat down, two cats vied for attention. Dory was first but Twister was more important, so I coaxed her in to lay on the mat at my burning feet. I have to say that my attention was divided between two cats and my urge to purge.

At about 7:15 am, I finally finished combing and petting cats besides cleaning up myself. I didn’t know what the time was. I did know that I was way over the time I had allowed myself as extra time to spare. I sat down to my desk when my phone rang. It was Peter who phoned to find out what I was up to and where. I told him that I was late and had to go fast. He told me I should have left fifteen minutes ago and to get a move on. I already had a move on and was about to dash now. Bye.
I went as fast as I could go up to the General Hospital. I knew where I had to go and how to get there. I rolled straight up to the crowded waiting room of the module I was supposed to be early for. I didn’t even know what time it was when I registered as present at the reception’s window. All I do know is that within a few minutes, I was called into the testing room. Within five minutes, I was back out and done with the breathing test as it is applied to me. There are no sounds, no prompting, and nothing untoward to set me off. That nurse is so kind and understanding, at least to me after my latest tale of woes I told her.

The breathing test usually is a complicated measuring of your breathing process that takes about half an hour or so. Repeated testing is done over and over with the very loud prompting by a female’s high pitched yell. I can’t do that. It sets off my rage and I have to bash something as hard as I can. It scares everyone when my eyes turn beet red and I start shaking with surges of pure adrenaline. It’s war. Do you want to play again?

I admit that I have had a life that nobody would possibly want. I know I have trouble sleeping because of buckets of sweat and bouts of kicking and swinging arms. Peter knows he is safe as long as he doesn’t move from his prone position at his side of the bed. I can’t get help because I would be committed at the least and imprisoned likely. Peter doesn’t want to lose me nor do I want to lose him. Oh well, I try as best I can to keep the peace quietly.

Peter and I played a game of crib to start the morning off. I had lost the two previous games and was ready to win a game. The crib game went very fast. I skunked Peter, who groaned and moaned about the loss. So, we played a second game of crib. Would you believe that I skunked Peter again with a double skunk score. Peter was not happy at all about the two losses in such a manner. I smirked a bit but merely asked Peter when had I ever beaten him like that before. His reply was that I had done so a few years before out in Vernon when we crossed Canada. By then, it was time for us to go to my appointment at the other side of the hospital.

We both climbed onto our electric wheelchairs and left the ward of four beds. It was a short trip to the appointment so I was able to stop along the way for a smoke. Peter patiently waited for me to do my thing. Then we rolled on to the sixth floor where the appointment was. The receptionist was kind and smiling as she did the paperwork for my appointment. Within a short time we were sitting in room 7, a spacious examination room for doctors with wheelchair bound patients.

Our doctor was a short little timely woman who bubbled over with positive energy. She was into a lot of local projects that were intended to help the poor people of the downtown area. Fortunately for her, she was able to enlist help from various media to further her intentions of spreading word of the help by the program she funded.

Our inspired little doctor was bubbling over with positive affirmations of various aspects of health motivated facts. Cut down and even quit the habits of drinking coffee and smoking. Change diet to avoid salt, sugar, and starch based foods. Most over the counter drugs are not helpful for the reasons why they are taken in the first place. We already knew that, but she wanted to say it as if for our benefit anyways.

I had numerous aliments that needed to be addressed, but not by her. There were other professionals in the health industry that were more likely to be of use to me in attending to my ills. There wasn’t much use she could be to us in helping us cope with our COPD afflictions. Perhaps she could see us in a time of about three or four months from now. With that said, she handed me two forms, one a prescription for a referral to a specialist doctor and the other a form to get an appointment at a later date.

I should have made a copy of my morning breathing tests. It would have told me that my breathing had shrunk 400 ml less than the last test at Christmas time. The tests also informed me that my breathing was operating at about 59 % of what would have been considered normal for my lungs. My breathing was actually not all that bad considering that it was my back causing me most of my disability.
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We're still picking up on the positive vibes of the friendly Aquarius Moon, especially as she receives a new wave of support from the lighthearted Gemini Sun. Furthermore, the Moon cooperates with hardworking Saturn in inspirational Sagittarius, bringing a healthy dose of stability into our lives. We're able to envision a future that's different than the present moment, yet we do it in such a practical manner that we can actually realize our dreams.

You might wake up with lofty intentions today, aiming to be methodical about accomplishing your goals. But as the day wears on, you could become increasingly lackadaisical and fall further behind until you just give up. Don't be too self-judgmental if you find yourself on the wrong end of the stick now; give yourself the gift of reprieve. Scheduling additional time off can be accomplished without comparing your actual production to your high ideals. Focus on your potential, not your limits.

Today, which is actually now yesterday at about 5:00 am on the fifteenth of the month of June in 2017, started off in a reasonable enough manner. I was up at about two hours early before having to leave to visit Peter in the Rehab unit of the General Hospital. I was in a good mood and set about getting everything ready to go. Uhuh.

I fussed about trying to get everything ready for the backpack that included two little jars of ointment for Peter’s skin condition and two Thermoses of coffee. I also packed half of the remaining Tuesday Chicken Tenders and Wedgies for Peter to snack on. It all doesn’t seem like much but time was a wasting and slipping by far too fast. I would up being half an hour late by the time I locked the front door and headed out to the hospital. Why is that? I didn’t want to be late and yet half an hour seems such a long time.

My eyes are sore and my feet are swollen puffy red and sunburned. They are tender just to sit with my feet on the floor. I should be hungry but I am six pounds heavier than when I weighed myself three days ago. Where did three days go? I don’t think it was already three days and there it is, gone on the big calendar in the kitchen. I have to shovel off my desktop because it is so dirty and cluttered with stuff and my to do list.

Last night I sliced and buttered two hot cross raisin buns and set them on my desk to eat. I fell asleep before those little buns made it into my mouth. And, that little bit of Kahluah in my Thermos coffee didn’t please Peter nor I. The flavour was just a little off enough to be distasteful. Oh, my gums are sore from biting into the stiffly dried out little hot cross buns. Another reason to think why is that happening? ed
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It's a whole new ballgame today as our overactive minds dream and scheme to make our fantasies come true. The conceptual Aquarius Moon forms an intellectually powerful Grand Air Trine that places logic over feelings. A Mercury-Jupiter trine encourages communication, while aiming our thoughts into the future. Meanwhile, Mercury's dynamic square to nebulous Neptune muddies reality. We're not afraid to go out on a limb in the pursuit of happiness.

It's as if you are riding on a freight train of words today, without knowing where it might stop. Interpersonal communication takes up much of your time, yet it's about to become even more important. You could receive some sort of good news, but it's tricky to discern it from all the other incoming emails, telephone calls and conversations. Pay careful attention to every little detail so you don't let a golden opportunity slip through your fingers. Your next adventure is waiting for you to say yes.


Today is Monday and it is the first day of the week that Peter stays in the Rehabilitation Center on the second floor. I didn't make it to bed because Peter left for the hospital at 9:00 pm last night. I can't sleep without Peter beside me to keep the bogeyman away. I managed to get an hour's worth of sleep at my desk instead of going to bed after talking to Mom on FaceBook at midnight. Oh well, we will see how it goes tonight.

I spent all day dressed up in my bathing suit a la Jungle Jane costume. I know it is at least a decade or more in age, but it is in good shape and looks nice as far as I am concerned. So, the result of all of that sunshine means that I have bright red sun burns all over except my face and forearms. I will have to coat myself in Aloe Vera. I should go from bright red to a vivid green in colour, eh?

Peter will be spending three more weeks including this one in the Rehabilitation Center for the program of Thrombosis Rehabilitation that goes for a full month. Peter gets to have the weekends at home because I am disabled and need his care for certain things like brushing my hair and doing my pills for my weekly pill box. It is a small thing that I can manage to get around in one way or another. I miss Peter.

The place had a major cleanup today by washing the couch and then wrapping it in plastic. The idea was to have a small battle against an invasive force that was relentlessly taking over the place we call home. Then after visiting with Peter the second time, it was a continued battle all evening long of scooping up agents of the enemy and dropping them into a little glass bottle. So many times I felt like I was losing the battle. Today was just another day of the battle continued as I did what I could to clean and otherwise destroy the enemy when and where I found them.
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Seismic shifts shake our lives today as two planets change signs. We may try to simplify love and accumulate wealth while magnetic Venus visits sensual Taurus for the next month. But we might grow restless with our current circumstances as interactive Mercury enters fickle Gemini for a two-week stay. Meanwhile, the transformational Scorpio Moon holds our feet to the fire, insisting on full metamorphosis rather than a whimsical change of heart.

Downsizing might not come easily now, but the advantages are readily apparent. Your key planet Venus sashays through pragmatic Taurus over the next few weeks, prompting you to get back to basics. Unfortunately, the pressure of eliminating non-essential activities could be a primary source of anxiety. Nevertheless, there's no reason to retreat from confronting your fears; engaging deep processes can ultimately add more beauty to your life.

Today started off in an interesting way. I had no sleep at all while watching videos on YouTube. 7:00 am slipped up in a sneaky way almost without my noticing it. Lack of sleep is deleterious to one’s own competency as well as being very unhealthy. I don’t like either in any particular way. Getting sleep should be added to the top of my priority list.

At a little after eight o’clock in the morning was when I rolled into Peter’s bed space. Peter was sitting with his back to the window, slowly eating what was left of his breakfast. I was offered a few choice items of which I took a muffin with butter and a little cup of mandarin oranges in juice. Peter and I talked casually and Bill from the other bed at the window added a few cents worth. We all had a happy and friendly manner towards each other. I liked that as did everyone else.

Peter and I didn’t play crib because Peter only had until 10:00 am before he had to do his physio session. Ten minutes before Peter had his physio session, he got ready and started to make his way down to the Rehab office on the ground floor. I accompanied him to the Rehab office where we kissed and said our goodbyes. I would return later in the day with a fresh Thermos of coffee. Ok!

It had just started to rain when I went outside. It was a light rain that fell as I raced for the nearest bus stop. There was no way I could think of going home on my electric wheelchair if it were to rain even as lightly as it was. I made it to the bus shelter without getting too wet. A few minutes later, a bus rolled up and stopped to take on a few passengers going in the wrong direction.

I waited a few minutes more before another bus stopped and began lowering it’s ramp. I scuttled onto the bus, bouncing from one railside of the ramp to the other. I stopped at the top and used my Presto card to pay for my fare. Quickly I went to the right hand side of the bus and parked by backing up against the tubular reinforcement behind the driver’s seat. Ok, I am good to go.

The rain hadn’t let up by the time I got off at the mall. I raced through the light rain in the direction of home. I was wet by the time I made it to the back doors of the building although my hand did a good job of covering my controller. I took the elevator to the tenth and raced down the length of the hall. I almost collided with the locked door with my key held out to turn the lock as quickly as I could. I knew the bedroom heater fan was going and I would warm up soon.


time doesn’t heal. Only one becomes accustomed to pain and it becomes bearable. Pain eats everything from inside and you have been through it all to say with conviction that the passage of pain transforms you as a person. This is the lesson you have learnt from pain and it has only taught you how to deal with it.

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We're not as eager to see every issue from both sides once the Moon leaves reasonable Libra to enter emotional Scorpio at 6:45 am EDT. We're more likely to listen to our hearts, even if it leads us into uncomfortable situations. Unfortunately, we might not be able to wrap our minds around our desires and talking about them doesn't seem to help. Nevertheless, a creative Jupiter-Saturn alignment enables us to magically pull a solution out of thin air.

You can't tell if you're reading someone's behavior correctly today and you don't want to embarrass yourself by jumping to a wrong conclusion. You prefer to believe that your optimism is based on what you're seeing and hearing, but there's enough ambiguity now to make you question your judgment. To complicate matters, you could overcompensate and assume the worst. Both extremes are probably deviations from reality. Continue to observe those around you while sticking as close to the middle of the road as you can. Clint Eastwood said, "The less secure a man is, the more likely he is to have extreme prejudice."

I finally got to sleep in mid morning. I slept right through until 7:00 am for a whole two hours of sleep. My eyes are fuzzy but I can still see well enough. I took my time getting dressed because I kept getting winded. I went into the bathroom and brushed my hair. Then, I gathered up what Peter had asked me for and put it all in my knapsack. I had a monocular set of glasses, my three patches and the plastic bag, two bottles of Mountain Dew, a Thermos of fresh coffee, My pill box, and my hair brush. The last two went in first and I couldn’t bother to pull them out again.

The roll to the hospital’s Rehabilitation took only half an hour under threatening skies. I had a smoke along the way and took a few pictures also. It was a smooth trip for all intents and purposes. Yet, there was an incident when a black pickup truck stopped across a crosswalk.

I rolled right up to the black pickup truck and yelled swear words. The driver slowly rolled the window down a bit and asked if there was something wrong. I repeated my F U swear and immediately turned and zipped around the front of the truck. The driver couldn’t see me while a clear spot went by in the traffic. He was prevented from making his left turn in the morning rush. He had to wait a little longer at least until I reappeared on the other side of his truck.

I rolled up quietly to Peter’s room. Then I sped up and squealed my wheels to a stop at Peter’s bedside. I greeted him and we talked for a while. I ate a muffin before I decided to go for a smoke. About half an hour later, I returned to Peter’s bedside. We played crib for about an hour with my winning the game. Then I escorted Peter down to the main floor and the Rehabilitation Center. We kissed goodbye and I am supposed to go up again at about 6:00 pm.

I went home in a very tired condition. I managed to stay awake for about two hours before I slipped off my shoes and crawled into bed as dressed as I was. It was 4:30 pm when I woke up and started to struggle to get my act together. I had to run around to get my pillbox and take my 4:00 pm pills. I found them and sucked up the needed seven pills with some Thermos coffee. I still had almost a full Thermos and was about to make another pot of fresh coffee. I did that before I started eating from a container of egg and potato salad. I ate about a bowl full before the coffee stopped perking in the coffee machine. I put the container of potato salad back into the fridge on my way to the bedroom. I had to put on my shoes and return to my desk.

At my desk I had to reload my pouch with camera, phone, and cigarettes. Why I had taken everything out in the first place is beyond me. I should have left it in my pouch. I slung the pouch over my neck and went to the kitchen. I added three icecubes to the two Thermoses. Then I added five spoonfuls of sugar to my black Thermos with the red stripe. Only after all of that could I fill the Thermoses to the top before twisting on the caps. A quick wipe made sure the Thermoses were dry before taking them to the electric wheelchair.

The electric wheelchair is my gomobile. It takes me to all of t he places I can’t go by myself. My walking capability is that diminished. I can barely manage to walk from one end of the apartment to the other before I am forced to stop and rest partly from being out of breath and partly from having to recoup my strength from my exertions. It is really not easy being disabled.

It had been overly cloudy all day. It had rained while I slept after I had made it home in a dry condition. Now, it was still threatening but not raining as I made my way up to the hospital in twenty five minutes. It isn’t a record time but it is a fairly steady clip of about ten kilometers per hour.

Peter was snoring when I rolled to a squealing stop at the foot of his bed. He didn’t miss a beat of snoring. So, I slipped off my shoes and cuddled up beside him on his hospital bed. He roused enough to raise his arm for me to lay my head upon it. At the same time he checked his watched and smiled. He knew I had brought fresh coffee. And what’s more, I was snuggled up very close at his side. He breathed a few times before he began to snore again. A minute later and I was snoring too.

We slept snuggled up together for about two hours. I stirred upon hearing a nurse talking to a patient right across from us. I sat up and that was enough to wake Peter up. We both sat up in time to see the nurse start walking in our general direction. I felt a little relieved that the nurse hadn’t needed to wake us up for her nightly rounds. After the nurse took Peter’s vitals and asked a few questions, we decided to play crib.

We had played a game of crib earlier in the day. I won that game plus two other games from the previous day. So we started dealing out cards and pegging points. I won that game and the next game. I am very competitive when it comes to cards. There are only a few card games I can play without getting into trouble or causing trouble. I think of it as being just one of those things that can’t be explained easily.

It was 9:30 pm before we finished playing crib. I had won five out of six games that we had played since Peter had started staying at the hospital. Playing crib was fun for both of us. We usually kept even in points on the board. Once in a while I would get very high scoring hands, more often than Peter was able to. He would win games often enough to keep him in the game, as it were. Still, we would have fun and get excited over one thing or another.

The crib board and pegs were put away, along with the deck of cards. We hugged each other and kissed goodbye. With that, I set out to go home. If it was raining, I would take the bus. If it wasn’t raining, I would walk home in twenty five minutes.

Having decided to walk home, I could only hope that the rain would hold off long enough for me to get home. Twenty five minutes later I hadn’t quite made it to the front door before a mist settled down and a very faint bit of rain fell. I wasn’t perfectly dry at the front door, but what I would call slightly damp.

Home was a happy destination for me. I rolled through the door and locked it before I was greeted by Jessica. It was a relief to know that someone would be at home with me for the night. I have a terrible time being alone, especially while taking the fifteen prescriptions I have. No, not nice at all. So, I had something to eat and poured a 113’ F bath for myself. At the same time, I had sessions with both cats, Dory and Twister. Then I soaked and sweated myself.

Drying off is always a lengthy exercise for me. It takes about two hours for my hair to damp dry. Not completely. It takes me only an hour to cool enough to stop sweating and dry off with two bath towels. We have those. I put on my pink kimono and went out onto the balcony for a smoke. Jessica joined me.

I was fifteen minutes late to start up FaceBook and call Mom on it. Mom was a little slow to answer because she was reading an article from FaceBook on another webpage. Sometimes the other webpage prevents a call connection. We talked for half an hour before I admitted that I was tired and ready to call it a night. We said goodbye and closed FaceBook.

I spent another three hours working away on StupidThree. I should have gone to bed. I should have done a lot of things. Fact is that I was reading an article on one website while listening to another video about anomalies on a second website, all while composing the blog. It seems to be the only way I can keep up to the gruelling pace I set for myself. There are so many things that I want to do and not enough of me to do it all without having clones of myself, You must know that feeling far too well.
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